Transformers - Revenge of the Fallen

 File Size: 335.54 MB

File Type: CSO

I've been reviewing various versions of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen for the past week. The PS3/360/PC version was only passable (though the online is fun), while the Wii/PS2 version was pretty bad. However, the PSP game easily takes the cake as the worst of the bunch, far and away. It is boring, frustrating, poorly designed and fairly buggy. It's also one of the worst games on the system.

The game is essentially a top-down shooter where you work linearly through a level while killing everything in your way. If you're not firing, the left analog stick gives you free movement of your Transformer, though while shooting it'll move you up and down and strafe you left and right. In this case, you use the L and R buttons to turn. For pretty much the entire game, you'll be controlling it this way because you have no reason to stop shooting.

And that's one of the first pieces of low-budget proof. While each Transformer's gun sounds different, there's only one sample per weapon, so as soon as you begin firing, you hear the same sample played a few times per second for a good fifteen minutes straight. By my math, if we assume the sample is playing three times per second, you'll hear the same sound about 2,700 times in a row before you finish the first level.

Yeah, it's pretty much less than meets the eye.

 

But that's the least of the problems. The biggest is that the game is simply boring. While there are a handful of levels where you'll do something a little different, like drive (which I'll come back to), the bulk of the game simply involves moving in whatever direction you're supposed to go in, holding down the shoot button and dodging incoming fire. Over and over and over again.

While this is the same formula that you'll find in classics like Contra, Commando or Ikari Warriors, my problem here is that many of the Transformers you face (or turrets, energized walls, etc.) all take a lot of bullets to put down, and unless you play as one of the fastest machines at your disposal, you move really slowly (really, really slowly in some cases). So rather than having the feeling of plowing through guys and constantly advancing like you do in these classics, you instead move forward to the next group of guys and then have to stop and move back and forth to dodge shots while returning fire for longer than what most anyone would consider fun.

And then the boredom turns into frustration. You eventually get to missions where you need to protect something or someone, and Decepticons will swarm the screen and take them out. Since it takes you forever to take down the bigger guys, and since some of the scenes will have a ton of guys on the screen, there's not much you can do except slowly work your way through the crowd. Most any strategy that you could think of here is lost, and the result is simply frustration as you watch the enemy cause you to fail over and over again until you finally get lucky.

And then there are the bugs. At one point relatively early in the game, I was playing as Starscream and faced off against Bumblebee. I cornered him against a wall at one point and trapped him there while simply punching over and over again, which he couldn't counter. After a cutscene mid-fight got him out of this mess, he eventually fired a couple rockets, walked into an invisible wall and slid along it until he wound up in the corner and then just stood there. I stopped fighting to see if he would do anything. Nope. I just walked over and punched him to death.

Little bugs are everyone. At times, you can't pick up health or weapon upgrades while firing, though most of the time you can. There were a handful of times where I would be firing, meaning that my guy should be strafing and not changing his fire direction, and he would all of a sudden start firing in a random direction.

This screen looks bad, but you need to see this in action to truly know the terribleness.

 

 

And then there are the driving sequences that I mentioned earlier, which rank as easily one of the worst sequences I've ever seen in gaming. While the game generally looks bad, these scenes are so poor that people who watched me play them either laughed out loud or were left speechless in disbelief that this is a "finished" game. Enemies fire bullets (which are blurry purple messes) that sometimes just float around the road, even changing direction and going backward. Helicopters that come in pop around the screen wildly. You can drive straight through traffic, and running into a solid barrier simply stops you dead in your tracks and then pops you back out onto the road a second later. When you fight Demolisher in the second driving sequence, he doesn't actually attack, and he's so big that as long as you're firing, you're pretty much guaranteed to hit him. I replayed this section a beat it by only holding down Square.

Review Source: IGN.com

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